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  • Opening Night

    Opening Night

    ★★★★½

    someone hire me as a film programmer so i can bill this and Her Smell (2019) together as a double feature called ABCDEFG: Aging Blonde Creatives Do Extreme Freak-Outs, Great!

  • Minnie and Moskowitz

    Minnie and Moskowitz

    ★★★★

    “You know I think that movies are a conspiracy? I mean it. I mean it. They are actually a conspiracy. Because they set you up. They set you up from the time you’re a little kid. They set you up to believe in everything. They set you up to believe in ideals and strength and good guys and romance and, of course, love. Love. So you believe it, right? You go out, you start looking. It doesn’t happen, you keep…

  • Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

    Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

    ★★★

    just moved to LA. this is the first movie my roommate and i chose to christen the apartment. i only feel comfortable living with those who like to move it move it. in this house we hail king julien

  • Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

    Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

    ★★★½

    there were 7000 boob jokes in this oscar award winning animated film. nice

  • Ocean's Twelve

    Ocean's Twelve

    ★★★★½

    here is why this is my personal favorite Ocean:
    - brad’s fake laugh (and also the entire “lost in translation” scene)
    - brad’s face when he realizes his phone was stolen
    - brad’s endless wardrobe of trench coats and ill-fitting pants 
    - brad’s eating tortilla chips 
    - brad’s line delivery of “OH ... he’s mean.
    - brad’s drinking wine and wearing matching robes with george
    -brad’s flirty look at catherine zeta-jones as he’s running from the cops
    - BRAD 🥰🥰🥰

  • Belladonna of Sadness

    Belladonna of Sadness

    ★★★½

    this psychedelic animated musical erotica version of Lady Snowblood (also released 1973?!?!?!?) rules HARD once you get past the gratuitous rape scenes. the gorgeous watercolor animation makes the sexual violence a bit easier to tolerate than, say, the thematically-similar live-action Valerie and Her Week of Wonders (1970) ...... still a bit icky for the all-male writers to juxtapose that trauma against a montage of erotic depictions of the ‘70s sexual liberation though, imho, even when it’s drawn that beautifully and creatively!! also, not enough revenge ....... >:(

    streaming for freeeeee on kanopy (best watched dummmm stoned)

  • Music and Lyrics

    Music and Lyrics

    ★★★★★

    LAST WATCH OF THE DECADE, BABY — WE’RE GOIN OUT WITH A POP!!!!!!!!!!

  • Arsenic and Old Lace

    Arsenic and Old Lace

    ★★★½

    me in 1944 when i try to distract myself from the horrors of WWII by going to the local Cinema to see the latest Cary Grant Picture and realize it’s about how Women Be Poisoning: gee ........... hope this doesn’t ..... awaken anything in me ...........

  • Les Misérables

    Les Misérables

    ★★★★½

    wild how my two favorite movie musicals of the decade (this and mamma mia! here we go again) and my favorite tv show (fleabag) and my favorite star wars (the last jedi) all feature my boy hugh skinner. no one else has the range!!! he IS the Actor of the Decade!!! this is a hugh skinner fan account now, which i’m hoping will distract everyone from the fact that i just admitted that tom hooper’s les misérables is my favorite movie musical of the decade

  • Varda by Agnès

    Varda by Agnès

    ★★★★

    luxuriously refreshing palette cleanser after a harrowing cats/star wars double feature. forgot that cinema can be a source of joy for a second there!! but then agnès varda showed up in a potato costume :) <3

  • John Mulaney & The Sack Lunch Bunch

    John Mulaney & The Sack Lunch Bunch

    parents wanted to watch this for christmas eve but i had to say no because chaotic jake gyllenhaal having a breakdown while singing and gyrating and playing an okja-adjacent character is just a hair too sexy-in-a-weird-way for family time? like, i would’ve had to somehow repress my eruptive passion for mr. music and his xylophone vest in order to prevent them from (rightfully) worrying about me? i know for a fact that other people had this same problem. please don’t lock me up

  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    ★★½

    there’s exactly one interesting characterization in this spineless retcon and that’s the choice to give poe dameron a canonical fear of bones