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  • Blow-Up

    Blow-Up

    ★★★★½

    it takes its time but eventually this grabs you and pulls you close. you become fully invested in the mystery and fully enthralled in the aesthetic, and then it shoves you away, leaves you wishing there was more. it wasn’t until I turned my TV off, walked across the room, slumped into my bed, and stared into darkness for 5 minutes that I realized that this was the entire point. whatever it is that you do to try to feel…

  • Wild at Heart

    Wild at Heart

    ★★★★★

    i think we can all agree that willem dafoe

  • Magnolia

    Magnolia

    ★★★★★

    this is the most musically creative and emotionally touching and beautifully existential movie with a stacked ensemble cast that i’ve seen since john mulaney and the sack lunch bunch

  • John Mulaney & The Sack Lunch Bunch

    John Mulaney & The Sack Lunch Bunch

    ★★★★★

    paul simon and martin scorsese stacked on top of each other in a trench coat so that they can ride the rides at coney island and paul is on top but he can’t talk so you just hear marty muttering about federico fellini

  • Underwater

    Underwater

    ★★★½

    I went to see and enjoyed a movie that has T.J. Miller in it. that’s the power that Kristen Stewart has.

  • Little Women

    Little Women

    ★★★★½

    imagine just like having them as neighbors

  • Okja

    Okja

    ★★★★★

    all i want to do is travel the world saving animals and committing crimes against capitalism wearing suits and ski masks with my close personal friends steven yuen and paul dano. it is the only thing that i have ever wanted

  • Panic Room

    Panic Room

    ★★★★

    kristen stewart on a razor scooter

  • Tangerine

    Tangerine

    ★★★★½

    more impressive with an iPhone 5s: 
    sean baker, who made Tangerine
    OR
    me, who got a high score of 200 on flappy bird

  • Point Break

    Point Break

    ★★★★★

    watching point break just to feel something

  • Uncut Gems

    Uncut Gems

    ★★★★★

    hold up a sec I need to catch my breath god damn

  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    the last jedi: let the past die. kill it if you have to

    the rise of skywalker: ok but like what if we already killed it? can we bring it back and kill it again? how long does it have to be killed for? can we fake kill it just for fun?

    the last jedi: rey is nobody, the force could be in anybody, it could be in you even 

    the rise of skywalker: lol jk rey is the child…