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  • Ready or Not

    Ready or Not

    ★★★★

    78

    A great movie about how the bullshit of rich people should never be tolerated. Also features secret passages, a goat pit and creepy skeletons, and one hell of an 'old dark house'. Instant recommendation.

  • Parole Violators

    Parole Violators

    ★★★½

    64

    Nails on a chalkboard, yet always bizarre enough to keep me invested. Best scene is when someone makes pasta and mixes the noodles and the sauce together *in the colander*.

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  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    15

    Disney/Lucasfilm Headquarters. Int. Day.

    Rian Johnson: Oh, hey, JJ!

    JJ Abrams: Hi Rian, how's it going?

    RJ: Great! I just wanted to say that really enjoyed my time making The Last Jedi. It was so exciting to craft a personal film with Disney money. And everyone at Lucasfilm approved it right away because Episode 7 left me with a bunch of mystery-box ideas and set-up that wasn't going to lead anywhere. Who directed that one again?

    JJ: Me. I…

  • Bohemian Rhapsody

    Bohemian Rhapsody

    ½

    1

    "How many times do we need to teach you this lesson, old man?"

    Abominable. Chickenshit exploitation of queerness and public persona, in addition to being formally inept. Every single element of this movie is subpar, lacking in nuance and a solid foundation of existence. All of the reaction shots are gold - everyone is lost: in geography, character motivation, respect of authenticity or even some semblance of cinematic coherence. Nothing is even remotely aware of its functionality. The film…